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When you're driving and realize you're lost, so you turn down the music like 'Shhh, Luke Bryan. I can't shake it for you right now, I'm lost'. Not the lost part but the I can't shake it right now lol

Bathing suit vs.  Sweat pants

my bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like "nah girl, you're good.

It pollens

It's always sticky yellow pollen yuck. You can always tell who doesn't like to wash the car in Charlotte, the city of trees.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

And this is why our 6 year old does not throw temper tantrums, shows respect ("yes/no sir/ma'am") and has manners ("yes/no thank you" or "yes/no please"). Demonstrate to them NOW so they can and will grow up to be a respectable adult. Tough love, baby. Works like a charm.

Funny Family Ecard: A time out?it's called a spanking. Go on. Act a fool.

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Funny Confession Ecard: I can't cook & hate to clean, but I'm certain my expertise in sarcasm & raiding the Target clearance section makes me a rare gem. This is me.

Wife says to husband, "You wanna change positions tonight?" He says, "Yeah!" She says, "Okay, you do the dishes and I will sit on the couch and fart.

She said, 'That's a lot of money to spend on a purse!' It was then that I knew we could never be friends.

bwahahahhaaaa LOVE THIS:) Not too many people understand my Coach purse addiction!

Having neither room in your closet, nor empty hangers, but still firmly believing you need more clothes. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Having neither room in your closet, nor empty hangers, but still firmly believing you need more clothes. Totally me!

Glitter was a great idea; until you realized it's the Herpes of crafting supplies and now you cant get rid of it.

Glitter was a great idea; until you realized it's the Herpes of crafting supplies and now you can't get rid of it. (I remember a math day at school where one of teh mums had the brilliant idea of bringing in glitter. We laugh about it today.

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