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"Mama said there'd be days like this ¦¦ There'd be days like this my Mama said" -- The Shirelles, 'Mama Said'

Shhhh. Mommy is in a timeout. "The Marketplace for Adults with Taste!" @LiquorListcom

Pay phone: Has me thinking of all the ways we had to annoy the hell out of our parents!

Sometimes I think Mommy is happier than me when I don't have homework.

Don't confuse my desire for a clean house as a desire to clean up after you.

When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & leave! Oh, yeah!!!

You are the kind of mom that's going to kiss me in public until i'm 20 aren't you? betcha!

I don't care if that public toilet handle is ten feet off the ground, I'm still going to raise my leg up there so that I can flush with my foot.

This little trick qualifies as a genuine life hack. | 19 Truths All Directionally Challenged People Know

You may not want to see a bunch of pics of my kids on FB but, I'm not fond of all the pics you take of yourself in a mirror of a dirty bathroom either.

My husband asked me to wear something sexy to bed... ...So I put on my Jason Aldean shirt.