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I'm pretty sure you don't know what you're talking about. But please, continue.

I'm so glad that Pinterest is just FB bumper stickers on crack. I missed bumper stickers.

Pretending to be a functioning adult is so exhausting.

Hon, I know where we keep everything in the house. I live here, remember? Said no husband ever.

Ain't that the truth?! May I add, "We'll suddenly need to go pee too?!" #funny #lol

Don't keep asking me if I'm mad until I get mad and then say, 'See, you're mad!' Because I will stab you.

That is the truest thing I've ever read.

No Issues Today. I'm In My Awesome Bubble And You're Not Allowed Inside.