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Classy women don't have one night stands. We just had auditions, and you didn't get a callback.

Classy women don't have one night stands. We just had auditions, and you didn't get a callback. (Another reason to admit a one night stand)

I am going to verbally assault you like you would never expect from a white girl.

Funny Breakup Ecard: I am going to verbally assault you like you would never expect from a white girl.

I hate the quotes on the pastel background, but this is so true. I never chase shots, and should really stop chasing men…

Oh how true :) "I don't even chase shots.what makes you think I'll chase after YOU?

Dump A Day Funny Pictures Of The Day - 73 Pics. Oh Nathan whom doesn't know I exist, this will be us someday :) lol

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I love you because you've seen me ugly cry and still talk to me.

Funny Confession Ecard: I will never understand decaf coffee or non alcoholic beer.

eh, I kinda get the decaf coffee, but non alcoholic beer.that just defeats the purpose of the beer right?

I have OCD, but I only clean things when I'm in the mood because I'm also bipolar.

Funny Confession Ecard: I have OCD, but I only clean things when I'm in the mood because I'm also bipolar.

You're so fabulous, I'm pretty sure you fart glitter. -This one is for Kimmie!!!

You're so fabulous, I'm pretty sure you fart glitter. lol thanks i actually do fart glitter

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

when you wake up PISSED. I've definitely woken up mad at the hubs because of something in a dream that he would never do in real life.

I apologize for the crushing disappointment that you'll feel while dating every girl after me. That's probably going to suck!

Free, Breakup Ecard: I apologize for the crushing disappointment that you'll feel while dating every girl after me. That's probably going to suck!