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Whoever said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" has clearly never had cupcakes. Or wine. Or chocolate. Or pizza. Or a man, because psst. - we really don't like skinny.

When someone says 'I forgot to eat', I think you must be a special kind of stupid. I plan my entire day around eating.

Free, Confession Ecard: When someone says "I forgot to eat", I think you must be a special kind of stupid. I plan my entire day around eating.

I've decided to add "extensive experience in dealing with stupid people" to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!! | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Confession Ecard: I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you'd miss them! -- so us haha

So true :) I so remember wanting to kill my husband, shortly there after I got a divorce, ending the possibility of hell in my afterlife.

I rarely think before speaking, and normally think that I should have thought.

I rarely think before speaking. I prefer to be as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth

SO TRUE!  I always say, as soon as I get to the bottom I'll go to bed...  It never comes!  :)

"I would've been in bed an hour ago, if I could just find the bottom of this Pintrest page.

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My heart is a complete dumass. It wants to get together with my ex.my brain knows it stupid and I have the controls to my brain. My heart is in timeout.

They should put more wine in a bottle.... So there's enough for two people.

They should put more wine in a bottle. So there's enough for two people.---for all of my vino drinking friends :) Cheers :)

Funny Confession Ecard: I know it's hard to believe that I'm right 98% of the time. The other 2% is when I have to solve math problems.

I know it's hard to believe that I'm right of the time. The other is when I have to solve math problems. SO ME!

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