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#givers #limits #inspiration #advice #truth #life
Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. Great inspirational quote!
Givers and Takers in Relationships- " I began this series with an introduction of the nature and prevalence of partners in relationships being characterized as givers and takers. Now let me spell out in greater detail the phenomenon of being a Taker in a relationship. The words giver and taker already have some moral weight to them. Most have a sense that it's good to give, and bad to take. We have a build-in reluctance to take the last cookie on the plate, at least without the permission of the hostess or others in the vicinity. Most of us were trained as a child not to take another child's toy. We are (hopefully) taught to curb that 4-year-old ego “I want what I want when I want it - right now!” In the same vein, most of us were trained in the religious virtue of being a “cheerful giver.” (St. Paul, II Corinthians 9:7) So how is it that, with all this cultural emphasis toward “giving” there are so many “takers” out there? Many clients come with a feeling of betrayal that they have done so much “giving” and when they need something, there is nobody to “give” back. Those to whom they have given so much, just take more - and little or nothing comes back. Perhaps it's primary genetic wiring. Perhaps it's early life experience. Perhaps it's parenting. I've seen all three. But there is a street savvy wisdom that emerges, claiming that the only way you're going to get what you want is to “just take it”. And takers can be very attractive people. Some even taking on a folk hero status - perhaps from a hidden resentment that the rest of us can't “do that too.” In our audience sports, we cheer for the one who can get out there and take best. Taking is winning. It's true in the economic world as well - those who can get the most are those who get rewarded the most. In business seminars they are heros for our emulation. Our rock stars know well the persona of the taker is the key to fame and fortune - just ask their managers. In the world of sales, it's the narcissist, the one who thinks solely in terms of his own ego needs, who has the “inner balls” to be the most aggressive and successful salesperson. Paradoxically, they're also the best in posturing as givers. Sometimes it takes a pretty good “BS detector” to tell the difference. I see it most in the subtle emptiness of their relationship abilities. A sad psychological maxim is that takers insist on seeing themselves as givers - and they will be the first to tell you so, and the very last to see themselves as otherwise. In my thirty years of practice, I'd say this has been true about 80% of the time. The process of change for these folks to become less narcissistic, especially for the sake of their domestic relationships, is a lengthy difficult process at best, and counts for almost every grey hair I have (or have lost). The psychological profile of the taker includes a psychological bind that prevents him or her from seeing themselves accurately here. That's why there's always an aura of unreality and/or emptiness surrounding these people. The shell of excitement and success by which they cover and protect this inner sadness is what others “fall in love” with - as many of my clients sadly have come to realize. The sense of betrayal we come to feel when we've been “taken” is often analogous to the inner sense of betrayal the taker carries deep in his or her psyche, but is forbidden by an ancient bind from ever acknowledging. That's why takers characteristically have difficulty with any experience of anxiety (and again, cannot let themselves know this). Warning Signs Here are a few clues - ‘before the wedding', so to speak - that your partner may be a taker. I'll assume here that the taker is a male and the attracted party is a female - though the opposite is frequently the case as well. - When dining out, how does he treat waitresses (or waiters)? And how well does he tip? How he treats service personnel is a pretty accurate barometer how he will eventually be treating you. - In general, how does he treat those of lower social standing? Also, how does he act in the presence of those of higher social standing? - Is he hungry for praise - and grumpy when he doesn't get ‘enough'? - Does he take more than he really needs, when opportunity provides it? - Is there an air of entitlement - that he deserves what he has or wants? - Does he get upset when honestly challenged or criticized? (Be careful here, because the taker can be skilled in transferring or projecting his or her own anger onto the partner, then blaming the partner for being the angry one.) - Here's a specific ‘test': Accuse your partner that he/she lacks empathy. Takers generally lack the capacity for empathy - but don't know it's missing. So they develop a pseudo empathy, and when challenged as I suggest, get very anxious, defensive and angry. The primary key to recognizing a taker is to know yourself well enough that you are not blinded by their skill. The inscription, “Know Thyself,” from the ancient forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, still carries its wisdom. I count it as a primary purpose of good psychotherapy to pursue this vital self-knowledge. And in many cases, it entails a difficult struggle".
Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. | quotes | wisdom | advice | life
So True! Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. #Givers #Takers #Quotes #Words #Sayings #Advice
It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn. Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place. - via: http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/11/29/9-things-happy-successful-people-choose-to-ignore/
It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn. Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
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Really need to remember this
So true!!!! I need to work on this!!!!
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action speaks louder than words - Google Search
Actions speak louder than words..this saying is so true!
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Top 32 Motivational Quotes
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Funny Inspirational Sayings | Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. ~Chinese proverb
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up #Inspirational #Failure #GetUp #Falling #picturequotes View more #quotes on http://quotes-lover.com
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. #fitness #inspiration #motivation #quote
Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a Best Friend. Become our friend myfriendshop.com...
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My twin sister is my best friend forever!!
So thankful for my best friend since I was 3, and the other best friends I've had along the way too. You can have more than one bestie. Lindsey will always be the one who stuck with me through it all <3
Defiantly My Bestfriends .
So true- just ask my best friends!
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I love Winnie the Pooh. This is one of my favorite quotes.
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I love you Pooh Bear. So sweet
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever" -Winnie the Pooh #Pooh #WinnieThePooh #quotes #WinnieThePoohquotes #poohbear #lovequotes #wisewords #love
Disney Quotes <3 winnie the pooh!
Winnie the Pooh has the best quotes.
Something better ...
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"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better." - Dr. Steve Maraboli God is good at doing this
rejected vs redirected // Steve Maraboli
It's all part of God's plan.
- Dr. Steve Maraboli got to remember this
"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better." - Dr. Steve Maraboli #positive #motivational #quotes. Quotes, Sayings and Inspiration
rejected vs re-directed #quote Steve Maraboli #TRUTH
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To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong - Joseph Chilton Pearce | www.spice4life.co.za #spice4life #S4L #philosophy #wisdom #wordsofwisdom #books #LifeQuote #Josephchiltonpreace
Living a creative life needs no fear of wrong
INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE - "To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." - Joseph Chilton Pearce #inspiration #quotes
Joseph Chilton Pearce. TRUTH
'To Live a Creative Life We Must Lose Our Fear of Being Wrong', so True, Joseph Chilton Pearce Quote.
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NO WORRIES! #noworries #hakunamatata
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I need to remember this!
WOW!! "Swing at the end of the world" / Swing over the edge of a cliff. ~ Ecuador.
Hakuna Matata don't be scared live life to the fullest!
Enjoy the good! #enjoy #life #live #future #ieducate #quote
All the ugly truths that were so easy to overlook at the beginning.
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Very true in my life I learned more in the end than I did in the beginning forsure true colors show in the end even when I thought I changed your old ways!!!
Ain't THAT the Truth! _ "You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning." _ Kushandwizdom - Inspirational picture quotes
The last 3 men I my life the last 10 year yea... so true
I learned how he orchestrated a well thought out smear campaign against me (his wife) to make himself appear a victim to all our "friends", who really didn't give a shit anyway. I learned of the women he kept on the backburner as his next "targets" in case I actually held him to task on his never-ending threats to leave & file for divorce (which I did the morning after he pulled an all-nighter with insinuations that he would cheat on me). And I learned how pathetically insecure he is. True story
#relationship #quotes We learn more about someone at the end!!!
Thought For The Day - September 30, 2012 | Inspiring Short Stories
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so true... When someone you love passes on, honor their memory by living out what you learned from their legacy
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So true! Beware the loud attention seeker that constantly needs self-validation especially through social media posts!
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Good thing to keep in mind. http://www.valenciamindfulnessretreat.org
Inspiring Quote - confidence is silent, insecurities are loud - #inspirational #wise #wisdom #truth
So, so, so, so true. Remember this when you encounter loud/insecure people and know that your silence is a LOUD and clear expression of your confidence!
strong words. so true! Why?
Be CONFIDENT! #quotes #inspirational quotes #sayings #quote #wordsofwisdom
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I'm that girl
so true ...if someone within 20 miles of me isn't smiling, we have a problem.
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TRUE STORY!!!! If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten. ~ Tony Robbins #quotes
Good Weight Loss Advice!
time for change...
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It lives in truth!
GIRLS DO THIS OVER & OVER. THEY TRY EVERYTHING TO BE NOTICED. TO BE LOVED. WHEN A GIRL LOVES SHE LOVES HARD. SHE WANTS TO FEEL THAT LOVE BACK & WHEN GUYS DON'T, IT'S CRUSHING. BUT BEING CONFIDENT & WELL PUT TOGETHER IS SUCH A TURN ON. TO HAVE THAT ATTITUDE THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF BEING YOU... IS SEXY. IF YOU CAN MAKE A GUY FEEL COMFORTABLE & LAUGH & BEING WITH YOU MAKES HIM HAPPIER. THIS IS A TOTAL PLUS FOR ANY GUY. SO DONT WAIT ON THE SIDELINES FOR A SPOT. YOU SHOULDN'T NEED TO FIGHT. THE RIGH…
There's the romantic "Need" (You complete me, My life is better with you, I couldn't imagine life without you) and the codependent "Need" (I need a man to be complete, I need to not be alone). The difference is one occurs after you've fallen in love and even though its sweet it isn't literal. the other is always there, and is often the reason people end up in bad relationships, and their own self worth depends on being with someone. I never "need" a man, but I have found the one my soul "needs"
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"Forget yesterday. It has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow. You haven't even met. Instead, open your eyes, and your heart to a truly precious gift; today." Quotes | Inspiration | Motivation | Life | Love | Family | Friends | Attitude | Relationship | Perception | Perseverance. ~B
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That father knew what was up.
This is so true, my dad would never raise his voice but he always got his message across....
"don't raise your voice. improve your argument." - DESMOND TUTU
Note to self
Whoa! So true. Maybe some people should point the finger in their mirror instead of at other people. :-)
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They live in self pity and blame others for their sadness and pain when it's no one else's fault. They are lonely beyond words. SO TRUE!
My mans narcissist ex wants to be friends - admittedly I initially thought this would be a good idea for the kids sake; try to do the right thing. Now? no thanks lmao. I've now seen what shitty things she is capable of and I'm not even going to invite that type of stupid into my life.
#quotes true that!
Ain't this the truth about a certain person who happens to be pinterest stalking me.
I know several self absorbed people and most of them I'm related to.
Trust quotes about #life 2015