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I don't always walk around my house in socks but when I do, I find the only wet spot on the kitchen floor. Every. Time.

This reminds me of you and my dad's arguements... that may or may not appear to be strange on pintrest...

My friends don't have to worry about this one, but I could dump it out because I'm not your servant.

No, I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see that you're a train wreck from all the way over here.

OMG I laughed so hard I started's long but sooo worth reading all the way through!!

My most recent favorite joke which no one else seems to appreciate.

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.

Oh, Canada. Thanks for proving once again that you are the Hufflepuff House of the world.