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Hahaha!!! I love me some wine... The higher the alcohol content the better, especially when I need a little R.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are, courage to maintain self-control, and wisdom to know if I act on it, I will go to jail!

What doesn't kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a…

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

I may be taking the high road on the outside, but inwardly, I'm wishing I could punch you in the face and slash your tires.

It's just that I love my friends so much... and sitting on my ass... and drinking...

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!