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I need to work for Facebook...

so true. or "people who I thought I was friends with but must have unfriended me"

Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.    somecards

Funny Family Ecard: Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.

I know so many ppl like this!

when I was a baby, an evil fairy cursed with me expensive taste and no money. Champagne taste with a beer budget!

If you know me at all, you know this to be true. I don't have to outrun whatever is chasing me. I just have to outrun YOU.

Funny Sports Ecard: I don't run. And if you ever see me run, you should start running too. Because something is probably chasing me.

When a girl says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, she's using the same time scale a guy is when he says the game has 5 minutes left.

Funny Confession Ecard: When a girl says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, she's using the same time scale a guy is when he says the game has 5 minutes left.

Spill things on myself ALL THE TIME.

Funny Confession Ecard: Today, I will be classy and elegant. Or, I will spill food on my shirt and trip over things.

I hate when people say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him."  They might as well just say, "He's a douche, but you'll get used to it."

Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate when people say 'He's a nice person once you get to know him' They might as well just say 'He's a douche, but you'll get used to it'.

Kinda like trying to write a paper when hey let's go on Pinterest #college.

Free and Funny Courtesy Hello Ecard: If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream.

Funny Confession Ecard: Im not the cat lady type. Im more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms.The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.

I don't think I've read anything more accurate about myself. But I am the cat lady type myself.

sad, but OH SO true...I am also the only one able to see an empty toilet paper roll. ;)

I have a Super Power. All the dirty laundry, dishes, floors, I'm the only one that sees them in this house. My mom

Rubbermaid works well for this, too.

Funny Confession Ecard: Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day. this is our family in an ecard.

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late...all it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late. All it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills. ~ My alarm clock.

Funny Confession Ecard: When I'm this mad, and extremely calm, you need to worry.

When I'm this mad, and extremely calm, you need to worry. & when I start laughing

faster than the speed of light

Funny Confession Ecard: Nothing faster than the speed of light. Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a photo that makes her look fat. There really is an ecard for that!

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