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And unfortunately, my dad thinks that it's perfectly normal to go out in public WEARING THEM! Honestly, I'm surprised he wasn't asked to leave the mall.

Of course these claims would surface the week after I finally figured out how to fold a fitted sheet... Now it doesn't look like I threw it in the closet and immediately slammed the door.

Since it's difficult to infer tone in an email, you should assume all mine are sarcastic or bitchy.

I don't say UHM because I find that to be SO irritating. But I do say LIKE a lot, which I know is equally irritating to others. No, I'm not sorry. Yes, I'm a total klutz.