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Well at least I really have one now....50th bday gift to me from me When you get old it's ok to buy useless stuff like that for yourself that you have always wanted.

I often walk a fine line between "super fun" mom and "kinda-psychotic-maybe-we-should-call-the-authorities" mom.

dear god, the pain.

Sadly, this is very accurate! Why does this happen?

We all have those days. today is one of those days

NO, SERVING SIZES. YOU ARE WRONG. | Serving Sizes Are Stupid And Wrong

Like the time when that lady was giving a presentation at work and said the word PENATRATION 800 times.

Yup then I'm just like what do I do now?!?!? I don't know how flirt!!! Ahhh someone help meeee!!!!!!

THIS WILL BE ME THE ENTIRE TIME I WILL BE HOME FOR READING WEEK. I miss my babies♥

This entire movie was created for the sole purpose of making food puns

Full time burritos… Scarlett and Dallas - Lets be part time burritos.

Brain before going to sleep: "Let's think about every mistake you've ever made, shall we?"