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    Better than Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard, for damn sure...

    Better than a cupcake!

    It's nice when other people think we are as entertaining as we do. Damn, we're some funny bitches. @Brittney Wilkins

    The feeling of accomplishment you get when you are notified of all the repins on Pinterest. You are all welcome for my amazing finds. You. Are. Welcome.

    Me, jog? Pfffftt. If you see me running, you better run too cuz something is chasing me!

    I feel better about myself when I'm wearing workout clothes because that means I'm one step closer to possibly maybe working out.

    'Why can't we be friends?', Well, because you're three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket and I don't have time for a mess like you.

    Since it's difficult to infer tone in an email, you should assume all mine are sarcastic or bitchy.

    so damn true.

    Damn skippy.

    SO true :)

    Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate rhyming. Penis.

    I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.

    And I owe you... ...way more blowjobs than I thought. Shit.

    Sorry I've been a bad friend lately. I've been busy being an awesome hermit.

    Teeth: Because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge.

    Id have better people skills if I worked with better people.

    So true!!