The person might not be who you thought they were; might have changed for the worse; but in the memories, they will always be the person you loved. it's ok to cherish those memories. You dont have to allow that person in your life now.
You didnt love her. You just didnt want o be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just food for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didnt love her. Because you dont destroy people you love.
Never depend on someone else to make you happy. Only God can make you happy! Create yourself a full, happy life, seeking God and finding hobbies and ways to express your gifts, and your man will be included in your happiness, a gift from God.