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If you would just listen and do something the first time I asked, Mommy wouldn't have to lose her shit.

SomeEcards: I just bought $200 worth of groceries... then I ordered in pizza because I didn't feel like cooking after the hassle of buying groceries.

Yep, this goes for everyone else that might need me to put a thought together after 8:00 too

"I pretend to like people everyday. It's called being an adult and THAT is why we are allowed to buy alcohol." Some eCards

Someone said to me, 'You're hard on your kids.' Yeah, that's why they aren't little assholes.

Omg!!! This is my life