“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools…

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools…

No woman has ever shot a man while he was washing the dishes.

No woman has ever shot a man while he was washing the dishes.

Yay.. this has restored what little hope I have left in humanity!

Yay.. this has restored what little hope I have left in humanity!

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My life has a superb cast

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A scientists' view.

10 Steps To Instantly Cheer Yourself Up

Photographer Dave Engledow Creates the Greatest Father-Daughter Calendar Ever | The Mary Sue

Photographer Dave Engledow Creates the Greatest Father-Daughter Calendar Ever | The Mary Sue

..............Most common excuse... I just want my children to have what I was not able to have growing up..... You grew up just fine didn't you??????????????

..............Most common excuse... I just want my children to have what I was not able to have growing up..... You grew up just fine didn't you??????????????

Best 40 Funny Memes Collection #Memes hilarious

Best 40 Funny Memes Collection

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