=)

Time to get some hurricane preparedness items. And yes, wine is a hurricane supply. Carmen - can I get an AMEN?????

@Melissa Squires Kopystynsky Giametta Women don't fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves

kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves

I'm planning on having my favorite drink this weekend.  It's called..a lot.

I'm planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It's called..a lot.

Sometimes I drink water to  surprise my liver.  Yup this Is my husband.

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver. Yup this Is my husband.

Quotes: "Oh, honey, you have gone beyond #muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits!"

Quotes: "Oh, honey, you have gone beyond #muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits!"

I'm a lady, but when I'm mad,  I'm an evil sadistic demon   spawned bitch from hell  that'll make you wish   you were never born...  And when I'm happy,  I bake muffins and shit

I'm a lady, but when I'm mad, I'm an evil sadistic demon spawned bitch from hell that'll make you wish you were never born... And when I'm happy, I bake muffins and shit

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