If I wasn't proud or passionate or caring about you, I wouldn't be even making an effort to understand. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to understand if I have to. You said you realize now how much you meant to me, and that was something I wish I woulda heard a long time ago. But I get it that it can't be forced upon. You think you don't mean something to me anymore but believe me, you mean more than any friend. I could keep that to myself but you know what, I can't take it sometimes.
I spent a lot of time searching for affection in shallow spaces I gave people bits of me they didn't deserve and I let myself be hurt, because I thought that's what I deserved. But once I let go of trying to shove puzzle pieces in places that did not fit, once I let go of all the hate I secretly had stored in the gashes that decorate my heart. I met you.