Lord give me patience . . . Because, if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.

Lord give me patience . . . Because, if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.

I lose track of how many times a day I'd like to turn to someone and say "you can't seriously be this freaking stupid!"

I lose track of how many times a day I'd like to turn to someone and say "you can't seriously be this freaking stupid!"

I've been dieting ALL morning. AM I SKINNY YET???

I've been dieting ALL morning. AM I SKINNY YET???

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Brain: I understand, I really do! But I'm anxious, and that really needs to be where our focus is right now

Brain: I understand, I really do! But I'm anxious, and that really needs to be where our focus is right now

Lol sometimes people just deserve a slap in the face.

Darn right I'm a Bitter Infertile! - Page 42

Asking how my day at work went is like asking how a drive-by shooting went... I'm just lucky I got out alive!

Asking how my day at work went is like asking how a drive-by shooting went... I'm just lucky I got out alive!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you'd miss them! -- so us haha

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you'd miss them! -- so us haha

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