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I went to sign my dog up for welfare. They said he's not eligible. I said he's lazy, unemployed, and doesn't know his daddy. He gets his check next week.

"I went to sign my dog up for welfare. they said he's not eligible. I said he's lazy, unemployed and doesn't know his daddy. he gets his check next week" Ecard haha Obama makes getting welfare just this easy

#someecards

Funny Confession Ecard: instead of cleaning i just watched an episode of hoarders. i didn't realize how fantastic my house really commercial ads

The resting bitch face.

Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'hara. I think this expression/scene was the ultimate Scarlett moment and really showed Vivien Leigh's talent. In a second, she transformed from scared to THIS. I'm a hot sexy bitch who doesn't care what you think.

Thanks to Obamacare, not only do I have to pay for the twinkies poor people eat but now I get to pay to unclog thier artieries so they can eat more of them.

hooray for half of my pay check going towards this. This is so sad but true!

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"Whoever said 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' has clearly never had cupcakes, or wine, or chocolate, or pizza!" Definitely the cupcakes and chocolate and pizza part!

ecards.

-- Is the glass half empty or half full? -- It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine!

the link between estrogen and anxiety  Low estrogen levels can make women more vulnerable to trauma at some points in their menstrual cycles, while high levels of the female sex hormone can partially protect them from emotional disturbance, the research suggests. Since birth control pills affect estrogen levels, they might one day be used to help prevent post-traumatic stress.

Why it's called PMS.

eCards - I'm pretty sure it's called PMS because that's easier to say than estrogen induced manic depressive bipolar disorder prone to fits of psychopathic rage.

This could happen...or not!

I work hard at my job, but if the opportunity to become a rich housewife arises, I'm taking it. Then I could have my art studio and create things all day long and have my dream shop!

FOR REAL!

This is my life. killed me when I read this. Made me laugh literally out loud! My day at work (almost everyday).

Google Image Result for http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6avxzdAgf1qlfwdoo1_500.jpg

funny quotes ecards running with you clown chasing us bloody knife margaritas finish line

Sometimes I forget how to spell a word so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it.  (I know some people who should follow this guideline!)

every time but spell check is there too! thank you God for spell check