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Funny to most but hilarious to those who have lived through it and come out the other side (albeit somewhat cracked and twisted).

haha I could do that again!

We all have those days. today is one of those days

I'm having the kind of day at work where I fear that I am a flight risk.

I'm usually about Live, Laugh, Love, and Dance but today its more like, Raise, Aim, Fire, and Reload...

I'm having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety

So, you think it's cute to flirt with my Husband? Have you ever seen an episode of Snapped?!

I love you so much. I would provide you an alibi in the event that your crazy ass snapped.