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I wish fire trucks and ambulances played "Move Bitch, Get Out The Way" instead of using sirens. How freaking hilarious would that shit

Haha I'm specifically pinning this because of a certain someone who follows me on pinterest still yet deleted me from Facebook & their certain sibling blocked me on Facebook. I find it quite humorous :) Man I'm gonna cry tonight pshh.

Some people couldnt be nice even if a Unicorn shoved a Fairy Wand up their ass while Judy Garland stood there singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

Funny Workplace Ecard: Don't mistake this fake smile and professional body language. I'd punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn't lose my job.

I don't think of myself as having a 'gray' thumb, but more of a plant hospice worker. Easing the transition so plants can go to Jesus. And sometimes I'm Kevorkian, speeding up their demise and helping them "transition" especially Orchids. This is me!!!

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine.