Waxing Joke All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.(YA THINK!!)So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them t together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.("Cold wax," yeah...right)! I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the was strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning , I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy -- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do some thing. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut!.... Butt?? ...Sealed shut!I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub -- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - - - - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Waxing Joke, Cold Wax, Dinner Play, Waxing Kit, Eyebrow Waxing, Waxing Beauty, Waxing Story
the funniest thing I have read in a long time!
Conversation Starters, Conversations Starters, Conversation Stoppers, Funny Images, Funny Quotes, Funny Cards, Funny Photos
I'm Just Going To Print These And Keep Them In My Pocket... Conversation starters can be so helpful
Conversation starters and enders - all an awkward introvert needs
I wouldn't talk to any of these people! Conversation starter
Conversation stoppers and conversation starters
Funny cards for ending/starting a conversation.
Conversation Starters and Stoppers! Hilarious!
Ill use the conversation stoppers the most
Omg read the first review- I have not laughed till I cried in so long! Toooo funny! Omg omg!
Gay Snowman, Funniest Review, Funniest Things, Funny Seriously, Funny Stuff, Amazon Reviews, Men'S Hair, Hilarious Reviews
Click on the picture to read what happens to men who don't read the instructions! Veet Hair Removal for Men: Amazon Reviews. O my word this is the funniest thing I've read in forever!!!!!!! Husband and I are crying through laughter!
Omg read the first review- I have not laughed till I cried in so long! Toooo funny! Seriously the funniest thing EVER!!!
Men's hair removal gel on Amazon... Read the first review. Do it. Right. Now. I can not breathe.
Click on the picture to read what happens to men who don't read the instructions! Veet Hair Removal for Men: Amazon Reviews... I cried laughing at the first one!!!
Click on the picture to read what happens to men who don't read the instructions! Veet Hair Removal for Men: Amazon Reviews I was crying in laughter on the first review "warning from across the pond"
Click on the picture to read what happens to men who don't read the instructions! Veet Hair Removal for Men: Amazon Reviews
Ohh holy god that is freakin hilarious!!!!! A gay snowman!!!!
Funniest review ever
Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read : WARNING I laughed so hard I couldn't breath!
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Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read but sooo funny! This by far is the funniest thing I have ever read
Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read : WARNING just cried laughing at this. Amazing.
Funny stuff! i cried because i laughed so hard! Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read
Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read....Hilarious...oh goodness, I died laughing...someone will have to read it all to me because I'm laughing too hard to see the entire story.
Long Review For Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme...But Worth The Read : WARNING I laughed so hard I couldn't breath! Funniest thing ever!
You HAVE to read this all the way to the end so freaking funny!!!
Funny stuff. Long Review For Veet men's hair removal
I seriously just died laughing. Oh my god. Lol
FUNNIEST REVIEW EVER
Time to bring out all the funny movies/ tv shows...
Bucket List, Giggle, Six Packs, New Life, Funny Stuff, 24 Hours, Life Goals, Challenge Accepted
My new core workout! Haha Lol wut? We do this at all our sleep overs anyways... This is clearly not true unless all my fat is protecting my deep down six pack @Allison Kay and @Madison Denman
New life goal! Haha, I don't think I want a six-pack, but laughing for 24 hrs would be something to try!! :)
Laugh your way to a six-pack. Challenge accepted. :-)
I cannot express how awesome that is. New life goal.
Six-pack in 24 hours.. This is a life goal now.
Six-pack in 24 hours???? Challenge accepted
I feel the giggles already
How true... :-)
Giggle, Sotrue, Truth, Jack O'Connell, Funny Stuff, So True, Alcohol Talking, So Funny
I've gotten so much bad advice from these guys :( the woodchuck seems to be missing... "come on, have another one of me, you know you wanna!! funny stuff ALWAYS happens!!!!!"
If Alcohol could talk - http://www.drunkdrank.com/drink/alcohol-talk/
I've gotten so much bad advice from these guys...so true
I'm laughing so hard right now! This is so true!
No really, it's the alcohol talking.
Delicious lies. the-giggles
so funny...and so true
#hahaha #funny #sotrue
Sick Bastard, Funny Shit, That S Funny, Funny Stuff, Funny Quotes, So Funny
Sick Bastard Funny Saying: I kept wondering why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me! Other Funny Sayings and Quotes: No matter where you go – You’re always there! And
Can see more funny stuff on my blog http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/
What a funny thing to do to someone... But NOT ME ! LOL
funny drunk quotes and sayings | Funny Quotes Saying
funny quotes - Google Search
Sick, sick bastard.
Random Funny Pic
I may try that sometime.
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Rock - Paper - Scissors --- A cop just pulled me over and said papers, so I said scissors, I win, and drove off ...
Love this. so funny... If I ever get the chance I am so doing it! No better way to get out of a ticket than to make a cop laugh :)
This is so funny... LOVE IT!! My husband and I play rock, paper, scissors for everything! I usually WIN!
A cop just pulled me over and said, "papers." so, I said, "Scissors I win," and drove off... Too funny.
I don't know why I find this so funny!! I may have to try it if my cops wife card doesn't work ;)
Love this. so funny, but i would NOT be brave enough to do it
Love this. So funny. I wish I had the guts!
Speeding Tickets and Twitter
What ARE those made of..?? Seriously!
Giggle, Funny Pictures, Funny Stufff, Funny Quotes, So True, Pictures Funny Things, True Stories
Seriously. It's paper, isn't it? Yet cannot be ripped. SO TRUE
haha! True story.
haahahha so true
true story bro
Lol so true!
Oh great, I left it at home!
Funny Things, Potato Heads, That S Funny, Funny Pictures, Potatohead, Hee Hee, Funny Stuff, So Funny
My husband and I can't stop laughing. So funny Mr. Potato Head, so funny.
Mr. Potato Head!!!!!!@@@@@ Dump A Day Random Funny Pictures - 50 Pics
Mr. Potato Head's 1st world problems hahahahahahahahaha
Mr. Potato Head's 1st world problems, LMFAO!!!
Mr. Potato... head? OMG this is so funny!
Mr. Potato... head? LOL!! Funny stuff
Oh wow.....Potato Head problems? haha
Mr. Potato Head - hee hee
I Hate You, Giggle, Funny Shit, Truth, Funny Picture, So True, Funny Stuff, Dear Small
ha! but really...p.s. sorry for the language...but seriously so true
I Sincerely apologize for the language but this is funny stuff!
Dear small line of dirt...This made me laugh!
This made me giggle!
I hate you
Eyebrow Quotes Funny, Eyebrows Funny, Eyebrows Quotes, Makeup Quote, Quotes Eyebrows, Funny Eyebrows, Funny Eyebrow Quotes, Eyebrow Humor
23 Times Makeup Was Not On Your Side. I would have put this under "LOL" but i think sometimes we need reminding that nobody gets it right ALL the time :) enjoy
The time your eyebrows just could not get it together. | 23 Times Makeup Was Not On Your Side I can't say I know the feeling, but I can appreciate the frustration this must cause.
for real, though. ("remember, eyebrows are sisters, not twins. They don't have to match exactly" yeah, but this is not worrkin')
You know you have that one favorite eyebrow and that one misunderstood, step child of an eyebrow
The time your eyebrows just could not get it together. | 23 Times Makeup Was Not On Your Side
The time your eyebrows just could not get it together. | 23 Times Makeup Was Not On Your Side
Made me laugh because left eyebrow (Walmart) has always had an annoying cowlick lol...
23 Times Makeup Was Not On Your Side seriously, the eyeliner struggle is so real.
Hahaha...Ahhh so true : )
That S Funny, First Time, Funny Encouragement, My Husband, Funny Cards, Funny Stuff, Someecard, E Cards, Funny Ecards
Encouragement Ecards, Free encouragement Cards, Funny encouragement Greeting Cards, and encouragement e-cards - all at someecards.com
Free Ecards, Funny Ecards, Greeting Cards, Birthday Ecards, Birthday Cards, Valentine's Day Ecards, Flirting Ecards, Dating Ecards, Friendship Ecards, Wedding Ecards, Anniversary Ecards and more at someecards.com
Encouragement Ecards, Free Encouragement Cards, Funny Encouragement Greeting Cards at someecards.com
Funny Encouragement Ecard: If at For my husband! if at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.
I wish my husband would just listen the first time lol
Rock Scissors, Rock Paper Scissors, Thought Paper, So True, Thoughts Exactly, Watch Big Bang Theory, So Funny
"When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh sorry, I thought paper would protect you." ... This made me LOL :)
I shall keep this in mind the next time someone dares to play "rock paper scissors" with me. they won't know what hit them. PUN INTENDED.
My thoughts exactly! for the next time Walt wants to play rock, paper, scissors!!!
Unless of course you're playing rock paper scissors lizard Spock...
Who wants to play rock paper scissors?
Rock paper scissors. This is so true!
Paper, Rock, Scissors.....
so funny so wrong!
He was here...
Giggle, Chose Scissors, Rock Paper Scissors, Funny Picture, Funny Stuff, Norris Jokes, Chuck Norris, Devilfish
Chuck Norris was Here, and he chose Scissors ~ Chuck Norris Jokes | The 50 Best Chuck Norris Facts & Memes
Chuck Norris jokes are really overdone and I usually hate them all, but this one made me giggle
Chuck Norris was here...and he chose scissors. Rock paper scissors. Funny picture.
Funny pictures of the day - Chuck Norris Was Here And He Chose Scissors
Chuck Norris jokes are really overdone, but this one made me giggle
I hate Chuck Norris jokes.... why do I laugh every time?
I still laugh WAY too hard at Chuck Norris jokes
All Chuck Norris jokes make me laugh.
Truth, My Life, I Hate Running, Funny Sports, Funny Stuff, Totally Me, True Stories, Sports Ecard, Haha So True
Story of my life.. hahaha
i hate running anyway
Funny Sports Ecard:
Truth of my life.
I HATE RUNNING!
Totally me lol
haha so true!
Don't bring a girl in the NBA finals, she'll get bored.
Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Giggle, Nba Final, Funny Stuff, So True, So Funny
Don't bring a girl to the NBA finals, she'll get bored. Hahahahaha I secretly like Bieber but this made me giggle.
"Don't bring a girl in the NBA finals, she'll get bored. Justin Bieber. Selena Gomez." lol justin is the girl
"Don't bring a girl in the NBA finals, she'll get bored. Justin Bieber. Selena Gomez." Side note.. Ol girl needs to learn to close her mouth. She looks like a blow up doll. Just saying. -H
Don't bring a girl in the NBA finals, she'll get bored. Why is this so funny to me??
hahaha Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber at the NBA Finals basketball game
Never take a girl to the NBA finals :) so true!
JUSTIn beiber and selena gomez at NBA game
the man cold