I think it is sad that only my children know what I mean when I say, "What's the magic word?" All their friends look at me like I'm insane. It's called manners - use them and teach them to your children.
I do try to be careful. My dad says hurtful things and I never foget it and it annoys him. I tell him that I am always careful to only say things that I really mean, not things with the intent to hurt.