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Im too cheap for Elf on the Shelf; so Im buying a garden gnome. I call it the Gnome on the Roam throughout your Home!

Funny Christmas Season Ecard: I'm too cheap for Elf on the Shelf; so I'm buying a garden gnome. I call it the Gnome on the Roam throughout your Home!

When I am in my car I become Celine Dion and Steven Tyler's love child. I should charge a fee for the entertainment I provide at red lights.

Cat lady

Im not the cat lady type. Im more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe

perfect scenarios

haha this is funny. when school ends things will be better. when i move out things will get better. with my new job things will be better. we can dream right?

pretty sure this was me being told...because i assume i'm dying alone with 40 cats and a jar of peanut butter(;

Resigning to Be a Cat Lady Early On is Sad

I am well on my way to becoming a Crazy Cat Lady. Pretty sure this is what my mom knew when I was young.

Do you buy your pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off.

the lesbian couple that live a block or two over who have the landscaping that i love - one of their cars is COVERED in bumper stickers.so so funny! one of us is going to need to buy an electric car and get a bunch of bumper stickers.

Since Lorna this is true

Funny Valentine’s Day 2016 Quotes Wishes & Sayings for GF / BF, Friends

Now that is funny

by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you *blocked* and *deleted* you may now kiss my ass.

For my 20 year old son.  Being married is awesome so find a nice girl and stay at the party. You don't have to sacrifice the fun you are having.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Getting married before the age of 25 sounds a lot like leaving a party before 10 PM to me. well-i-thought-it-was-funny

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

when you wake up PISSED. I've definitely woken up mad at the hubs because of something in a dream that he would never do in real life.