Dwight's take on V-Day: "My perfect Valentine's Day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago." Smart guy!
You should follow anyone else's advice. Not. Dwight. Schrute's.
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"Do you guys have mini cupcakes?" "No, only by special order." "Your sign says 'Smallcakes' so I thought...." (And then I proceed to correct the customer in my head. "Yes. Small CAKES not small CUPCAKES. UNCULTURED SWINE.).