Be careful in that tanning bed, or I will starting telling u that u have been dorito raped
I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.
Funny Confession Ecard: Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. So true
To live is good. To live good is even better.
When we're old and our husbands have died, will you promise to live with me so we can drink daily & keep each other company? (Except I'm never getting married. So let's just drink daily and keep each other company starting now.