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- Woke up this way today!

I'm glad whoever made this feels the same way I do because I've been getting ridiculed by my family for the past month

Funny how 6 hours at work is miserable, but 6 hours at home watching friends, goes by in a snap!

Everyone's all 'I need a spray tan' and I'm over here like 'Will SPF 75 be strong enough?'

more like pasty white girl problems

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today.' On the back 'But I won't do that.

I can't be your friend if you can't handle my weirdness, sarcasm, stupid jokes, and my tendency to laugh at almost everything. | Friendship Ecard

Funny Friendship Ecard: I can't be your friend if you can't handle my weirdness, sarcasm, stupid jokes, and my tendency to laugh at almost everything.

ahahahah

Be careful in that tanning bed, or I will starting telling u that u have been dorito raped

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. Winning!

Funny Confession Ecard: Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. So true

somecards.com

To live is good. To live good is even better.

When we're old and our husbands have died, will you promise to live with me so we can drink daily & keep each other comany?

When we're old and our husbands have died, will you promise to live with me so we can drink daily & keep each other company? (Except I'm never getting married. So let's just drink daily and keep each other company starting now.

:) luke bryan. lol.

When you're driving and realize you're lost, so you turn down the music like 'Shhh, Luke Bryan. I can't shake it for you right now, I'm lost'. Not the lost part but the I can't shake it right now lol

Funniest Taco Bell Pictures (15 Pics) | Vitamin-Ha

"Taco Bell isn't real mexican food" I know bitch, I'm not going there for authentic mexican cuisine. I'm going there because I'm broke and I like tacos.

Ts.....

See, I'm not a grammar Nazi. I just feel bad that people weren't as gifted with spelling as I am.

Especially after a night of drinking too much lol!!!

yeah, its called versatility

Actually, I like being pale. I don't need to look like a worn out leather handbag to feel good about myself. Proud to be pale!

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