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"I eat right, I exercise, I don't drink or smoke ... but I'm still going to die someday? That changes everything!"

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That horrifying moment when you're looking for an adult, but you realize you are an adult. So you look around for an older adult. An adultier adult. Someone better at adulting than you.

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Our new product has no fat, no cholesterol, no calories, no sugar, no salt and no preservatives. The box is empty, but it has exactly what everyone wants!

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