tom haverford of parks and rec: zerts are what i call deserts. tray-trays are entrees. air conditions are cool blasterz. i call cakes, big 'ol cookies. i call noodles, long ass rice. fried chicken is fry-fry chicky-chick. i call eggs pre-birds or future birds. root beer is super water. tortillas are bean blankies. i call forks food rakes.