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THIS! A MILLION TIMES THIS. Maybe Jeffrey can pick some up on his way home from purchasing locally-caught Lobsters.

The entire internet already knows that this site is brilliant - I have no idea why this one just killed me

I knew you were my real friend after I noticed you cropped my photograph above my muffin top before sharing it on facebook.

Oh Grumpy Cat, how I love you!

Went to the Dr. today, found out I was born with too much awesomeness. Most common side effect: an over abundance of HATERS.Turns out I'm gonna survive.

We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, Im making WAFFLES!

That's like my dog, but my dog would just eat the whole thing in a second including the candle

epic fail photos - After 12: Scumbag Alcohol

I have the necessary koalafications. Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Don't listen to him. He's lion. This arguing is becoming unbearable. Indeed, it's making my voice horse. Please horse. When do you ever say something smart? Don't worry, owl wait. Ouch! Hawkward! I'm out of here! You are all giraffing me crazy! Alpaca your things. Let minnow when you get there!

Louis C.K. on women and the dangers of dating men.

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