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There are some mornings when I'm cutting up my daughter’s grapes into fours after three hours of sleep while the sun is coming up and I’m in a flannel granny moomoo and NPR is on and I’m like, 'Where’s my cigarettes, where’s my naughty Saturday night fling and ripped black lace lingerie and I just wanna call in sick to work and take Klonopin and google all my exes and only eat gummi bears all day.'

There are some mornings when I'm cutting up my daughter’s grapes into fours after three hours of sleep while the sun is coming up and I’m in a flannel granny moomoo and NPR is on and I’m like, 'Where’s my cigarettes, where’s my naughty Saturday night fling and ripped black lace lingerie and I just wanna call in sick to work and take Klonopin and google all my exes and only eat gummi bears all day.'