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My husband and I have an understanding. I get Tom Selleck and Jeffery Dean Morgan. He gets Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Salma Hayek. Fair trade!

That passive aggressive bitch you are wearing goes great with your lying and whoring.

Going to church doesn't make you a good person. Try not being an asshole instead.

Christian thought for the day. Going to church doesn't make you a good person, asshole.

Went to Target to get milk. Left with two hundred dollars worth of stuff and forgot the milk.

Went to Target to get milk. Left with two hundred dollars worth of stuff and forgot the milk. This is so me I Target!

Funny Family Ecard: I pin more food and sarcastic comments than anything. People must think I am one fat bitch.

Funny Family Ecard: I pin more food and sarcastic comments than anything. People must think I am one fat bitch.

And That Would Be Me

I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better. This is my life.

Truth

but so true. I could really go for a glass of wine and a million dollars.

Makes no fucking sense

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done funny quote jokes woman funny quote funny quotes humor chores housework

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