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no swearing... unless it's in context :)

Honey, you can't go around saying bad words. But the fact that you say them in the right context makes Mommy proud. And, honestly, that really DID taste like shit. SO wrong but still funny!

Vacation is just a fancy word for I'm taking a few days off work that way I dont go bat shit crazy and kill someone. Here's to Summer Vacation!

And this is why our 6 year old does not throw temper tantrums, shows respect ("yes/no sir/ma'am") and has manners ("yes/no thank you" or "yes/no please"). Demonstrate to them NOW so they can and will grow up to be a respectable adult. Tough love, baby. Works like a charm.

Funny Family Ecard: A time out?it's called a spanking. Go on. Act a fool.

.hahaha

I just got some juice out of the fridge and I swear I heard the wine say "what the fuck"!

That awkward moment when your skinny friend says she feels fat and you're just standing there... all fat.

Funny Friendship Ecard: When your skinny friend says she feels fat and you're just standing there.-- lmao made me lol

How i managed to keep you alive but kill every houseplant I have ever owned is beyond me ...

This is definitely how I feel. How I managed to keep you alive but kill every houseplant I have ever owned is beyond me .

lmfao I always think this!

Lol I will never have a baby on board sticker on my car ever! : *Baby On Board* Oh really? I WAS going to ram into the back of your car, but now I wont.

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent & a better dancer.. I saw the video.. We need to talk.

Funny Farewell Ecard: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent & a better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits.  The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Funny Confession Ecard: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. How do they know me so well?

When Mommy finally gets up to spank your butt, that's when you know... Shit just got real.

and in my house it was Dad. Mom spanking was expected, but Dad? Oh no, you better run.

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