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In the words of my sister, "I'll just be fat and happy."

men think it's a woman's fantasy to find the perfect man. every woman's dream is to eat anything without getting fat.

dumbest way possible

This is how I feel during group projects at school. I swear I feel like I am always stuck with the dumbest fucking people who are super lazy.

Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I'll just be a stripper."  Then I remember, I'm fat..and can't dance.

Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I'll just be a stripper." Then I remember, I'm fat.and can't dance.

Can I get an Amen?!

Thank You Lord fo baseball pants. :) Hamann Hamann Iwinski Koch only thing possibly better--soccer shorts

Only child for 9 years and STILL confused about why my kids can simultaneously laugh together and want to kill each other.

My sister and myself would both agree wholeheartedly.

For real!

“I don’t know what’s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.

If only...Im still working on the 600 thank you notes from August 4th, 2012...400 done, 200 to go....im blessed to have had such an amazing wedding as well as invited guests :) Someecards

SomeEcards : How to make your own e-cards in seconds AND it's hilarious !!

Funny Confession Ecard: Here's a list of things I'd like to do today.


My mother always told me to put things back where they found them. So I'm about to put this bitch in her place. I'm a mother I shouldn't fight but man do I want to knock this old bitch out

Math... the only thing that doesn't lie no matter how much it drinks...

I don't care how simple this joke may be. I'm just happy I understand a joke that has to do with math. <--- this made me laugh as much as the joke itself.