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Calories (noun)  - Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories.

Set aside kids n my family-
But every other kid n a dr. Office that is wollering all over the floor playing with trucks that have MRSA or a screaming child at the grocery store bcuz ur momma wont let u open up ur skittles- i have zero tolerance- quick trip to the bathroom with an butt whippin coming rite up...

This is so funny! I LOVE other peoples kids - just thought this was hilarious!

This is so me haha always looking at my loaded closet saying i have nothing to wear  :P

"I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day." Oh my gosh. This is so me. I thought I was the only one!

Seriously, when the grandkids come over, juice boxes are a challenge and furthermore after the straw thing, the little darlings squeeze the box...like really tight!

I could totally stab someone. But I too have trouble with capri suns. Is there a stabbing class I could take?

@Helen Knight ..... Soooo true :)

How I feel every time. I hate having my eyebrows waxed, resulting in some pretty wicked eyebrows of the time and every time I get a pedicure, they ask "chew wohnt you eyebrows done?

The truth about my day!

This is the truth of my life. Except now it has become: Morning = exhausted, Afternoon = Dizzy from fatigue, Night = too panicked to sleep.

Moms terminologies and acronyms can actually be altered oftentimes. Crazy  right?

Guess who's got a smart phone! Crazy Funny Texts from Mom. Her Auto Corrects and fumblings are absurd! Hilarious& embarrassing parents texts are seriously nuts

I can only wish! - Click image to find more My Life Pinterest pins

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. so true!

"I can't tell who annoys who more"   - the quote from my best friend and future maid of honor.

inspiration: fortune cookie: "Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

Saw this & decided I should acknowledge @Marilyn Anderson with it.  We were schoolmates & fellow-residents of Garden Lakes, but I've discovered thru Pinterest that we have many of the same "likes" & interests!  #SocialMedia #ItsAsmallWorldAfterAll

Inspirational Quotes: I think this ALL of the time! Top Inspirational Quotes Quote Description I think this ALL of the time!

True love

Love is when someone asks for a starburst and you give them a pink or a red one. Brief acquaintance is when you ask for a starburst and you give them an orange one. Pure hatred is when someone asks you for a starburst and you give them a yellow one.