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(sigh)

I think it's weird how somedays I feel skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can biscuits.

Are you a frustrated cleaner or a happy cleaner? #CleanHome #Norwex #lol

I clean when I'm frustrated. So, if you show up unannounced & our house is clean. You might want to reconsider your visit especially if it is my daughter doing the cleaning.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this. I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat. and can't dance. OK so I would never be a stripper but I love it!

It's funny 'cause it's true..."Don't pee, don't pee, don't pee" lol

Funny Family Ecard: Awkward Mom Moment Sneezing is more about crossing your legs tight than covering your mouth.

:) Exactly

I'm sorry dear, in order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

Sometimes I don't want to go out, but when my hair looks good.  Of course I will go out!

vintage humor woman I didn't want to go out but my hair looked too good to say home, holding can hairspray,

funny ecards for women | ecards, funny ecard, funny ecards, sassy - Tapiture

Good one to remember for those pissy days! Anyone else absolutely hate when you feel this way! You know you're being a bitch but just as if you were on your period, you just can't stop it! Ugh, hate that so much!

some people need to be made aware of this...

The proper skirt length is at least two inches below your cellulite. "I know where my cellulite is.

True. Story. But in my case it's as soon as I go to bed in the morning! ... Click this image to browse lots more #Funny #pics & awesome #quotes

six hour shift at work, 0 texts when i got off. go home to take a nap. 12 texts and phone calls.

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