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Hahahahah I laughed inordinately hard at this. It's very much how I feel today :D.

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Whether you see your glass half-empty or half-full it doesnt matter. You did NOT pour enough wine into your glass. Start over.

We should open a store called "Forever 39". We can sell wine and yoga pants.

Free, Encouragement Ecard: I'm not FAT, I'm overstuffed with awesomeness! Yea, that's right bitches! AWESOMENESS!!!

Funny Friendship Ecard: You claim you're a bad bitch; yet you have no house, no car, and no job. . . You're not a bad bitch. You're doing bad, Bitch! There's a difference.

It is impressive that you are flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time.