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funny sayings

I'll Have to remember this, there are a few people I'd like to slap.

I always feel like I'm dying

It's so funny how exercise helps you live longer because whenever I exercise, it makes me feel like I am dying!

Take that!

I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but.I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

I've been saying this for years

My body is a temple! Why don't you have tattoos."Do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?

Lol

LOL funny true i can relate so true teen quotes relatable alarm so relatable<<My name is Amigo Montoya, you kill my father, PREPARE TO DIE!

I am uncoordinated- But you know that's one of the things you always loved about me :D

I am uncoordinated, therefore.no, I have no idea where that bruise came from. Story of my life!

Help Getting Organized | Get Organized with Organizational Tips from Buttoned Up | Feeling overwhelmed? Try a new mantra | Buttoned Up

"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.so me.

haha

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahh damn! She's under a blanket.

That dirty look you give the sidewalk when you turn around after tripping over it

In my defense a sidewalk broke my teeth. So sidewalks def. deserve dirty looks.

Hahaha if only you could see this. I think you know who you are

Never mistake silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

Boil, smash, season, bake.  I'll have to try this! humor-to-brighten-or-ruin-your-day

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Life quotes are the best sources of good inspiration. when you really need something more than inspiration then funny life quotes are the best way to make your mood

I definitely thought that was true when I was a little kid!

My brother told me aliens and monsters lived under the bed.then the next morning I stuck my led off and hit the dog's leg and thought it was a monster's leg.from then on i would crawl to the end of the bed and take a flying leap out of my room :D

This is how we like to live our life! - Spoki - bildes 2 ❤ liked on Polyvore

Funny pictures about Don't want a sarcastic answer? Oh, and cool pics about Don't want a sarcastic answer? Also, Don't want a sarcastic answer?

Me

my daughter sent me this.The perfect answer to: "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?" (I hated it when my mom asked me that!

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