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I love me

Funny Confession Ecard: I usually laugh at my own texts before I send them because I rarely say something that's not hilarious.

Hehe

Martha Stewart would choke on her craft supplies if she saw how I wad up a fitted sheet. That's exactly how I fold my fitted sheets up. I figure the wrinkles will disappera once I make the bed (~_~)

Lol

Some days I am the queen of serenity. Other days, separating coffee filters pushes me over the edge. so true ;

Or something adventurous like.. jumping from the couch, somersaulting on the tile, playing baseball in the living room..you know, boy stuff.

Funny Family Ecard: 'Mommy, watch this!' is the toddler equivalent of 'Hold my beer.' It usually means something stupid and dangerous is about to take place.

Walk softly around me. My BS tolerance level for you is low today.

"I need a new perspective on life . or maybe just a nap. Yeah, probably just a nap." A nap can cure any number of ills.

Funny Family Ecard: The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations - or learn to drink.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.

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Sometimes i think this is really me, but i'm sure that most of the time i may be the only one laughing at my jokes, but that's perfectly alright by me b/c i am hilarious.

Findiing a nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks....

We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth! HAHAHAHA I would soooo say this

Ha ha.. Love it:-)

people always think I'm drunk after just 2 drinks. When in fact, it's not my fault I'm naturally just a God damn blast

'

Dating should be like buying a car.You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX

you-want-sarcasm (6)

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: I may look calm, but in my head, I've punched you in the face 3 times.

250 Funniest Nursing Quotes and eCards | NurseBuff

I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes. Dump A Day Funny Pictures Of The Day - 90 Pics

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