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Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

Free and Funny Weddings Ecard: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

Fix your makeup & hide your crazy - 2 of the best lines from a song in a long time in my opinion!!!!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: I'm pretty sure I just keyed my neighbor's car with my nipples.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say 'I would do anything for love.' On the back 'But I won't do that.

Shaving is literally my worst nightmare.....

Yeah, I’d shave my legs for you. Maybe.

Thanks for saying my face looks like I'm ill with no makeup

Thanks for saying my face looks like I'm ill with no makeup. The ONE DAY I don't wear eye make up. ALL my littles ask me if I'm sick.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: My uterus is shedding and I will not hesitate to stab you.

Free and Funny News Ecard: My uterus is shedding and I will not hesitate to stab you.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Marriage - Betting someone half your shit that you'll love them forever.

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