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Never ever have I worked out that hard. But if that's the secret for a Batman booty call.....

This makes me ill thinking about being in this situation

The fate of unicorns. They evolved!

- I like that it's called "Wise Guys", but guess from the pointed comments (& services, not that guys can't get the goods) directed at females - Should be "Stupid guys" as YOU UGLY not bound to draw them in -

My mom said "What's his tongue caught on?" She does not understand snapchat I guess!

don't tell me you this didn't make you smile.

I just like to smile... Smiling's my favorite. - Buddy the Elf my mom says this all the time!

Next time I book a hotel Im going to write something random in the special request category and see if they pay attention. Usually I request a 2nd floor room if staying alone (weird I know) but Ill have to think of something creative...

bahaha!! that's the best! And this, this is basically what I'm going to be doing for a living. yep. ;P

Guys with fancy lady hair… This cracked me the fuck up, cause I would totally do this to Cory. I've practiced braids on him before.

Listened to the podcast a while back and Tom Hanks is AMAZING! I still quote it from time to time. "Play with these and not those"

awesome. if only i had a group of fellow cheerleaders when i was at the leaning tower of pisa this past summer :/