self-reflection easily becomes self-loathing. kids with will often say things like "I hate myself" or "I wish I was dead." These statements illustrate the pain caused by self-criticism in the OCD mind, which quickly spirals out of control. << ummm... yes.
I realize I have a lot to work on. Please believe me when I say I'm trying. It's hard to be conditioned a certain way for so long then try and wrap your head around a new way of living. Just know that I love hard. That is something that will never change.
You don't get it okay, it's not easy for me to explain. But I'm not trying to be lazy, it's just that I'm so f*cking tired and I have no motivation to succeed and I don't even know why this life is happening to me.