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Hahaha this is SO me whilst driving!

I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not going to happen.

WHY can't PINTEREST be my job? I'm so good at it. @ Heidi McCracken

Gotta do what you gotta do. Lacey McKay McKay McKay Schroder

Click this image to browse lots more #Funny #humor pics & awesome #quotes! :)

I'd be the Zuckerberg of snark, except I'd go public before I'd topped out the value, and I'd live a much more excessive lifestyle. Ok, bad example.

Have you ever considered finding another hobby besides taking pictures of yourself.

Dear Lord, all I ask is that you help me control my bladder when I cough or sneeze. Amen.

'Wow, that Lean Cuisine really filled me up', said no one ever.

The other day someone told me that I could make ice cubes with leftover wine. I was confused... what is leftover wine?