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Hahaha! but really I ran 2 miles and ate 4 doughnuts...

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: That's how I roll, ladylike with a wad of bitch in my back pocket

I think I'll collaborate and listen. Maybe who ever made this card should have used some spell check. Still funny.

When someone says "STOP" I never know if it's in the name of love, hammer time or if I am supposed to collaborate and listen. So funny

Let us eat cake!

I feel fat today. And to make myself feel better, I will eat this cake.Everyday of my life.except with ice cream!

Lol

Hhaha, I always say so sympathetically to my kids when they're whining, "Oooh what's that? I can't hear what you're saying through the whining.* Works every time!

True friends understand this.

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

Hon, I know where we keep everything in the house. I live here, remember? Said no husband ever.

I always remind my husband that we have only lived in the house for 10 years. Funny, I thought it was just my husband. Turns out maybe he isn't that unique.

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I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes. Dump A Day Funny Pictures Of The Day - 90 Pics

Everything Paleo!

I'd do anything to lose except eat healthy and work out. ( I work out so mine is just eat healthy.

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