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I basically only like people when they're funny, or when they leave me alone. (cc: Audreya Cole)

Wait, is this where I went wrong?

Give me an A or the Teddy Bear gets it...

My boss told me, "Dress for the job you WANT, not for the job you HAVE." Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Catwoman costume.

Hilarious! // Gave the baker a photo on the USB drive to put on the cake. This is the cake they made.

This is why grammar is important // The average North American consumes more than 400 Africans

Developing Your Decor Toilet Tissue Holder. Pay homage to bygone gadgets by decking out your powder room with this camera-shaped toilet tissue holder! #multiNaN

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza. (cc: Audreya Cole)

I watched the news the other day... I wouldn't recommend it...

A Series of Unfortunate Misuses of Punctuation

After a year of telling my friend he looks like Bob Ross, he finally sends me this picture...

Welcome to Manurewa (New Zealand). When it's hot, please dress for the body you have, not the body you want.

Hollister - consider bringing a flashlight

I've never thought of it like this before...

Stephanie Easterly You should stack the shirts like this at work! :)

I hope you appreciate the effort I put into not correcting your grammar.

Our kitchen cabinet is a large body of water...

How to be skinny...

Jayson Werth pulls off a crafty slide and avoids getting tagged out. // I've watched this a dozen times and it still makes me laugh. :)

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two.

Math Nerds do it Better...

A Cartesian commandment: "Thou shalt label thy axes."

So you are going to give me money for buying it? Cool.

I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things & get really excited.

This is why emergency rooms exist