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Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Dinner again? Damnit, I just fed them yesterday.

Ha ha ha ;) Get a free sample of Nectresse Sweetener and get all the sweetness with fewer calories! go.getitfree.us/B1Lz #dessert #SweetTooth

Funny Confession Ecard: I feel fat today. And to make myself feel better, I will eat this cake. Yes. Good plan.

I hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for. Like happiness and perfect abs.

You hide crazy like a bikini hides an extra 45 pounds.

This so accurately describes my life... it's not even funny.

Right before Christmas... My workout is lifting the cookie from the plate to my mouth. Got to get in a few reps...

So is this ecard trying to say that you are supposed to react differently?? Because that would just be crazy talk.

YES, YES I HAVE. I wait for sleep, baths and visits to gransparents...I REALLY DO!!!

Just FYI - I am out of the medicine ...

Open-mouthed chewing is right up there with misplaced commas on my list of pet peeves.