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Most things can be improved by one of five things: cheese, bbq sauce, melted butter, ranch dressing, or chocolate.

I was going to buy a new car, but instead I bought groceries for a week at Whole Foods.

this is my life. i always miss my food when it's gone.

Fast food fables: Advertisements of junk food vs. the real thing. /#drive_thru_knowledge

I want to listen to you but I'm thinking about snacks.

Especially in my kitchen: Not only is the kitchen the best gathering place, it's where your friends become family and your family learns to keep loving each other no matter what.

Funny Confession Ecard: Bacon. You greasy, fatty, deceptively delicious, meaty bastard. I love you.

'May all your Bacon Burn' is a 100% acceptable insult. From Howl's Moving Castle!

I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A NICE BODY THIS SUMMER!

@Christine B said I'd love this...she was right! I want it on a big canvas in my kitchen.:P