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I often walk a fine line between "super fun" mom and "kinda psychotic, maybe we should call the authorities" mom.

This is me every. single. Day. haha

This is all of our life stories.

My secret is out... this is my Christmas break everyone!

I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.

They say if you you really want to know a person, look at their pinterest board. I say if you really really want to know a person, check out what they liked. You guys are some kinky bitches, keep up the good work.

I've always said it's hard to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person..... it's actually not fair!!

Grocery list : What you spend half an hour on writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Sound familiar? It's no surprise that 98% of dieters fail. So what are the successful 2% doing?

it really is... and this is the reason I look horrible when I get home from work...

I really hate it when I'm required to arise before the crack of noon.

No One Would Ever Commit Crimes (If Spider Man's super power was shooting spiders out of his hands.)