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I'm having one of those days that skipping coffee and going straight to booze seems completely acceptable.  Happy Monday!

I'm having one of those days that skipping coffee and going straight to booze seems completely acceptable. Happy Monday!

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

My mind is like, 'Let's go to the gym!' but my body is all, 'Dude chill, this couch is really comfortable.'

My mind is like, 'Let's go to the gym!' but my body is all, 'Dude chill, this couch is really comfortable.'

Why does Facebook even give me the option to 'like' my own status? of course I like my status. I'm fucking hilarious. And sexy.

Why does Facebook even give me the option to 'like' my own status? of course I like my status. I'm fucking hilarious. And sexy.

Yes, we are aware of how obnoxious we are when we are together. No, we don't care.

Yes, we are aware of how obnoxious we are when we are together. No, we don't care.

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