If I have more than 3 days off work, I forget how to do my job. But if a song comes on the radio that I haven't heard since 1995, I still know every.last.word.

If I have more than 3 days off work, I forget how to do my job. But if a song comes on the radio that I haven't heard since 1995, I still know every.last.word.

Baby is your name Ex-Lax? I cant seem to get my pants off fast enough when you're around!

Baby is your name Ex-Lax? I cant seem to get my pants off fast enough when you're around!

Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare, wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone. | Workplace Ecard | someecards.com

Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare, wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone.

Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare, wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone. | Workplace Ecard | someecards.com

Dear Children, I only take credit for the first 9 months. After that, you were exposed to your father.

Dear Children, I only take credit for the first 9 months. After that, you were exposed to your father.

Why I’m NOT Teaching My Kids That They Have to Go to College

Why I'm NOT Teaching My Kids That They Have To Go To College

Why I’m NOT Teaching My Kids That They Have to Go to College

Honey, you can't go around saying bad words. But the fact that you say them in the right context makes Mommy proud. And, honestly, that really DID taste like shit.

Honey, you can't go around saying bad words. But the fact that you say them in the right context makes Mommy proud. And, honestly, that really DID taste like shit.

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