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Congratulations on successfully performing a basic task of life which the rest of the world performs daily and without expectation of praise.

They are flip-flops. They are supposed to flip and flop. Quit shuffling and PICK UP YOUR FEET.

It's a stick of gum not a bale of hay. Chew with your mouth closed!

I'd be the Zuckerberg of snark, except I'd go public before I'd topped out the value, and I'd live a much more excessive lifestyle. Ok, bad example.

Please cancel my subscription... I've had enough of your issues.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Thanks to Pinterest when I win the lottery I'll be prepared to show my new real estate agent, stylist, and personal chef exactly what I want.

If I were to have three wishes, one would be to make everything on my Pinterest boards exist in my life. The other two would be unnecessary.

I'm not an astronomer, but i'm pretty sure that the earth revolves around the sun and not you.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sometimes I don't answer your calls because I'm too tired to give you advice that your not going to take.

Animate your ecards with the free Animate Me app. Make photos talk and move to the sound you apply - Convert this card into a animated joke! www.animatemeapp....

Cannibalism at its very best. Done. Thank you Pinterest and thank YOU Someecards. You're welcome for the custom angle.